Note to self: If you’d like to become a writer, the first step is to begin calling yourself one. Years later you’ll look back at this moment in embarrassment because in truth you weren’t a writer at all. The words you put to paper were pointless, misguided bits of dribble. The paper you wrote on was actually worth more before you added your meaningless scribbles to its surface, damaging its potential with words that lacked both consistency and insight. But everyone has to start somewhere. And years will have passed between the point where you so naively and arrogantly started calling yourself a writer and the moment when you actually became one. The day this change took place will have been blurred with alcohol, heartache and sobbing hard regrets. But long after you had given up on yourself and the world quickly followed suit, you’ll wake up one morning unsure of the day or the year and you’ll have written something of value. And the same society that wrote you off before you could write yourself will slowly come back to you. Though a need to self-identify with a profession of any kind will be of very little use to you by then.